All That I Can Say…

16 Nov

Props to Sarah JERDE.

There are so many times I think of wonderful topics to blog about, but once I click on “New Post”, my mind goes completely blank.

Hence the reason my posts have lacked regularity over the past few months.

Also, for some reason it is easier for me to write when I am in midst of a trial or crisis.

But anyway, we are nearly 8 weeks into my least favorite season – Fall. This season usually is full of rain. Now, I don’t mind DOWN POURS, rather, i love down pours. But Fall is usually full of sprinkles…all. day. long. It’s usually fricken (i had to add that to show you my distaste) ugly and miserable.

But this Fall has been different (today and a few other days are an exception). This Fall has been unusually sunny and pretty. It has been rather enjoyable and has kinda even made me like Autumn. Just slightly.

With Fall comes change. The leaves on the trees change and fall off. Ladies start wearing more modest clothing and our coffee drinks involve some sort of peppermint, pumpkin, or ginger flavoring.

Sunday night I had my second ever pregnancy dream. For a girl who isn’t married and has no possibility of being prego – these dreams are slightly disturbing after waking.

My first one, I was a teen mom and had no clue who the dad was. I remember crying in a recliner, worried about what everyone would think.

This one was different. This time my belly was HUGE and I was days away from being due – and it was a girl. I remember even seeing her face, she had beautiful brown eyes. And I remember thinking for some reason that I was due to be in labor and was in my bathtub…but had no contractions. Weird…

But anyway, I woke up before my dream could really be done and don’t know how it ended (i HATE when that happens!)

I knew pregnancy dreams meant something (and I do believe most dreams are our bodies way of analyzing the on-goings of our life). When I got to a computer, I Googled, “Pregnancy dreams” and ignoring a lot of the weird fortune-telling stuff, the common denominator was that pregnancy dreams symbolizes an spect of myself or my personal life that is growing and developing. One that I may not be ready to talk about or act upon. It could also represent a new idea, goal, direction, or project. One of the sites also said that if I dream I am pregnant and not trying to get pregnant in my actual life – then it could mean the fear of new responsibilities.

Check and check.

Change is coming to multiple areas of my life.

One of my pastors will start his own church plant in a couple towns over – his family is very prominent in my life, especially his daughters. Not having them at church each week will be weird, but I am sooo very excited for him and his family. The Lord will do mighty things, i’m sure of it 🙂

Since I’ve been part of the church, the high school and junior high groups had their own little shindig in the “Upperroom” on Sundays and Wednesdays – back in September it was laid on our youth pastors heart to switch things up

Also, I will be moving in with my sister and her family for a little while. I’m hoping six weeks maximum. I’m waiting for my dad to get a date he will start his job at Boeing (figures once he was hired, they would decide to have a hiring freeze of his line of work). As far as I am aware, he still has the job. So, please pray for that! Once that date is set, I will be living with my dad for the first time since I was a third grader. I’m really excited 🙂

I think the best word to describe this period of life is: Re-calibration.

A word I came to be familiar with whilst working at Starbucks – re-calibrating the espresso machine was something I did often to make sure the shots were up to par so that I could make the best drinks possible. A tedious task (especially with the Washington weather changing so crazily), but necessary. So, that’s how I will see this time of life. Tedious – yes. But necessary.

It’s the trimming of the limbs to bring forth new fruit (in Christianese).

God will make this time beautiful, even despite some of the bitter attitudes to some of the changes. Even when we can’t see, we must still believe He will do good for those of us who love Him. He will.

I am just so thankful I have so much love around me from my family and friends. God always provides the perfect people to be my side and ride along when life gets crazy. I’m scared of some of these changes. Anxious, too. I am sad for some of the people leaving the church to help with the new one, but thankful they are still such a big part of my life even outside of the Wednesday nights and Sunday mornings.

I know in a year from now, the beauty will be known.

I know in a year from now that life for me can be way different.

God is working in my life, He is making that so evident.

I have hope in this re-calibration and choose to glorify Him thru it all.

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire comes, it is the tree of life.” Proverbs 13:12

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