18 Jul

I don’t quite know how to describe the last 2 or 3 weeks, other than to say that in that time period alone, I’ve cried  (or have come close to)  in front of more people than I have in the last 23 years. It’s not something I am embarrassed by, to be honest, those tears are meaningful and honest. Why must I be ashamed of something that’s true?

I have been reminded how much I really do need my Jesus. When times are tough and the future looks bleak, all I have to hold on to is Him.

It’s THOSE trials, my friends, that I love.

The times where I cannot do anything myself, everything is through Him. All I have to rely on is Him – working in me and those I love. I have to let go.

It was the same helpless feeling that I experienced five years ago when my house flooded really bad. The same pitiful, “what next?”, feeling.

And I am thankful.

I’m thankful because I have experienced His grace during that last helpless trial. He blessed my family in so many ways, He showed me how much He loves me. He delivered me and comforted me better than any human is capable of.

I came across this verse last night while doing a study,

“For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ.”

2 Corinthians 1:5

When we go through a hard time, a trial, He doesn’t just leave us out in the cold. Comfort is there – it’s our job to accept His love in those hard times, lay down our pride…realize our need for Him.

In my times reading and studying the book of James, I have come up with this thought:

(correct me if i’m wrong)

We come across trials for a couple reasons;  either a “pruning” of sorts or we have given into sin and the consequences result in a trialing time. Regardless of the reason, it all boils down to our human nature. Our fleshly desires. Our evil and deceitful hearts.

In that time, satan knows we are weak, it is easy to blame and get mad at God – satan entices us to do so. It’s easy to want to turn your back on Him because satan has made you feel He has turned His back on you…but that’s not the truth.

Proverbs 3:12 tells us, “For whom the Lord loves He corrects, just as a father the son in whom he delights.” and Romans 8:28 tells us, “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

It is for OUR good that we go through trials, regardless of what got us there. The Lord wants us to succeed, to have victory in Him! But when a trial comes our way, we have a huge choice to make. Either we cling to the Lord or we turn our back on Him. When times are hard, it’s the ultimate test of faith. If we are strong in Him, we know His love is behind it. We know we will reap His grace greatly.

“Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.” James 1:12

And yet, If our faith is weak, we’ll probably turn from the Lord. We will give into temptation and sin, falling further away from the Lord…leading to death.

“Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God”; for God cannot be tempted by evil, and He Himself does not tempt anyone. But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death.” James 1:13-15

Soooo many people blame God when things go horribly wrong, but forget to praise Him when things are right. (me included).

I’m praise Him that I am thankful for this trial. I am thankful for His provision and love for me and my family. I am thankful He is still doing a good work in me – and will be faithful to complete it until the day Jesus returns again. I praise Him for His peace and joy during this time, it can only be from Him. I’m thankful He has given me the passion to serve Him in this time, instead of running away. I am thankful procrastination is not on my list of things to do right now. I am thankful for my sisters. I am thankful for my brothers. I am thankful He has softened my heart. I am thankful for my church body. I am thankful for my family. I am thankful for my family at CCLS and our pastors. I am thankful for my CCM family. I am thankful for Shawnie. I am thankful for my job and very thankful for my employers. I am thankful for coffee. I am thankful for my parents love. I am thankful for all the wonderful men at church who I can admire, who correct me when I need it (even if it brings tears 😉 ). I am thankful for my roommates (the current and former). I am thankful for my friends. I am thankful for my doggy. I am thankful for my nephews (and new baby). And the list goes on………..

But mostly, I am thankful for my Lord’s love. For His deliverance. For His peace. For his grace and mercy.




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