I Will Not Settle.

21 Jun

As one of the few remaining 20-something single’s within my church and group of friends, it is very common for people to try and play matchmaker (specifically my sisters and certain pastors i know 😉 ). Heck, even I do it too…sorry, Nicole! 🙂

However, many times when they try to suggest someone, I usually do not have a reason why i do NOT want to date them…other then, well, I simply don’t want to and I’m not really attracted to them. But more recently a new thing has been popping up…


From the ages of 18-20, I was SUPER picky. SUPER. And yet when I was 21, my whole universe was shattered when I actually decided one of those little bullet points was not as important as i though, God was leading elsewhere. A very superficial bullet point it was…for the most part. And honestly…it was one of the best decisions I made, God showed me a lot through those months – and heartbreaking, gut-wrenching months that followed. Most specifically, He showed me what to value in a relationship. Not the vain things, but the things that actually matter.

He showed me how important it was to have a man who pursued God with his all. To have a constant, on-going, real genuine relationship with Jesus. Everything in life is set before Him – every decision to be lifted up to the Lord.

And yet, in the last three months I have caught myself forgetting how important it is. I caught myself settling for mediocre, men whose relationship is only luke-warm. Self-professed Christians whose actions speak otherwise. Guys who meet all the physical standards, but not the Spiritual. Guys who get sucked into the world, whose fruit is small, unripe, or even nonexistent. And I knew they were not the guys I wanted…but they showed me attention. Telling me, “I can’t believe you don’t have a boyfriend!” I know I’m not the only girl whose heart flutters when a cute guy shows any amount of special attention.

Thankfully I have my testimony to remember. To remember how peaceful and free it is to have a guy who loves the Lord as much as I do – and allows that love to be portrayed.

But even though I have my testimony to take into consideration, it is one thing to know something and another to act and apply  it. That is until the Lord once again shows me what I want and need. And I am reminded that there are still guys out there who do actually fit my standard – and beyond. Guys who love the Lord with all their heart, mind, and strength. Who have a simple love for Jesus. Who are adventurous and make me laugh uncontrollably. Who aren’t sissy men but real men – not the 21st century take on what a man is, but of God’s take of what a real man is. And of course there’s the whole attraction thing, which I think is important. 🙂

To see what I want in a man in an actual real life person gives me hope. Even if that hope is fleeting, I know that’s when God works the best. Even if I am single for the next 23 years, I know He still has a plan for me. And until that fateful day when I meet that guy, I need to remember who I really am here to serve. My Jesus. It’s when I take my eyes of Him and focus on him that I start losing my joy.

To end this blog, i will tell you a little bit of one of my favorite moments whilst in Mexico.

One of the dad’s on the trip took me to go get some paint brushes at the store down the road from the Casa del Pastor. This guy is one of the most amazing and humble men I have ever met, someone I have looked up to and respect since both going on the 2010 Mexico trip. Prior to exiting the van, he asked how he could pray for me – and I told him the current trial I was facing. While I value everything he said during our conversation, 3 small words continue to play over and over in my head when I think about the guy I will marry – “Wow – just, WOW!!!!”

If some of the guys I’ve dated already were amazing men, how much more amazing is the one i will marry? He’ll be a “Wow – just, Wow!” guy for sure 🙂 And if i settle for mediocre, I am missing out on the wow factor. Please take note that I don’t mean the wow factor as a vain thing… 🙂



One Response to “I Will Not Settle.”

  1. Bree 2011 June 21 at 5:35 pm #

    Kattie – You are so right. And believe me when I say, if you ARE single the next 23 years…it will STILL be worth the wait. Continue to have faith, continue to serve the Lord and above all else, continue to LIVE…be vibrant for the Lord. I love you! – Bree

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