Going Through the Motions

24 Mar

Growing up is most definitely rewarding, fulfilling, and interesting. But there are, of course, certain things in the moment that seem rather…useless.

Can i get an, “Amen!”?!?

Those moments always seem to make sense later on though…

When I look at pictures of myself and others, I ALWAYS look at the eyes. The eyes are said to be the window of the soul. They give away the truth of what the person is experiencing. Whether the truth is exhaustion, joy, fulfillment, accomplishment, sorrow, heartbreak, etc. Compare pictures of yourself or a friend from today to the ones two years ago, do you see the difference? The difference of a child becoming an adult? The difference of maturity in the eyes of a person?

Being able to see that difference is why i love Facebook. (Yes, I am going there!)

You see… it wasn’t always as easy to see the day by day changes of you and your peers after a couple years in a couple minutes. But with Facebook, all you gotta do is hit the right arrow key, and you are flipping through the life of a person and are able to see growth (or stagnancy) in but a moment! And I guarantee, if you look at the eyes of the person, you will notice a difference.

A difference that makes me yearn for the days of yesterday…but remind me to enjoy today because I don’t want to spend my whole life wishing I was still in the yesterday’s.

Life is definitely not where I want it.

Far from it.

I want to be a wife, I want to be a mom, I want to be a soccer mom (just without the jeans, haircut, and mini-van).

But this is where He has me. Today.

I am single. But that doesn’t mean I am not able to prepare myself for the future. It’s doesn’t mean life is boring. I still get asked out, which makes for good stories to giggle about with my friends. And I also still get to experience the giddyness of a new relationship…again (but hey, i love the giddyness!) There are possibilities in impossible situations…or in desperate circumstances where temptation lures for me to be bitter and evil.

What usually hangs me up on moving on from something…is remembering how great the past was. How happy I was at a certain time at different periods of my life…reminding myself in the blissful moments to take everything in, because I just might not get the chance to in the future. Something I had to learn to do.

The eyes I look into today do not hold the same innocence and immaturity as they once did. And as sad as that could be, I know it’s for the better.

I realize that my life has been wasted, once again…for far, far too long. I could have enjoyed my life much more had nothing ever happened, but now…I kinda am thankful. I know I learned a lot through everything…and 90% of the time I wish I didn’t have to learn it at all. At least at that time. But I find peace in knowing He has a reason. I am just impatiently waiting for that reason. I know through all the change taking place in my life at this time, my heart has and will continue to seek openness with my Jesus. For Him to do His good work in me as He promised in Romans 8:28. And there is still SO much that He can do.

And when i do find myself hurting, all I know I need is Jesus.

And maybe Jason Wade’s voice singing in the background…

😉

Better Luck Next Time -Lifehouse

Sometimes we fall
Ain’t nothing new to me
Don’t get me wrong
I must say you gave up for this time now

Stop tell me where you going
Maybe the one you love isn’t there
You’re going under
But you’re over it all so you don’t care about all that I had to see
I’d watch you wait until you come around

Don’t close your eyes
You need to see it all
It’s no surprise
That they break you down
At least they won’t give you up

Stop tell me where you going
Maybe the one you love isn’t there
You’re going under
But you’re over it all so you don’t care about all that I had to see
I’d watch you wait until you come around

It’s all wonderful
Living happily
To lose it all
Think you have everything

Stop tell me where you going
Maybe the one you love isn’t there
You’re going under
But you’re over it all so you don’t care about all that I had to see
I’d watch you wait until you come around

Stop tell me where you going
Maybe the one you love isn’t there
You’re going under
But you’re over it all so you don’t care about all that I had to see
I’d watch you wait until you come around

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