There is hope.

12 Oct

I may get frustrated in the silence

and think too much into every word

but i find hope.

my heart may skip a beat with prolonged eye contact

and desperately wish for mr. prince charming to rescue this damsel in distress

I still find hope…

There’s hope in the passion the Lord placed in my heart to have my own love story. My mind runs wild with possibilities. Most of which, I must confessingly admit, have been inspired by the likes of Nicholas Sparks. There ya go, I have admitted it. Nicholas Sparks has littered my mind with romance.

There are lessons I have learned — my expectations and desires have become less and less vain over the years. I surrendered in knowing that no matter who I marry, the Lord will place in my heart the passion to the love that person. For why would I ever marry a man I do not full-heartedly love? He has already proved Himself faithful in showing me that, He changed my heart so quickly from vanity. So fast I don’t even know when the transformation occurred.

I am a romantic, but I don’t do cheesy. I like macho men, but I don’t do egotistical. I’d like a handyman, but a musically inclined man is just as idealistic. I prefer tall, but truly I’d just like a man who has the physical ability to protect me if I was hijacked. A homebody is nice, but boys need adventure…go climb a mountain. Just please don’t tell me how close you came to falling off a cliff. A joker and pranker is exhilerating, but please know when to be serious. Text messages are nice, but a hand-written letter left secretly for my finding is more treasured.

One day I will love a man and he will love me. I truly believe that.

The Lord has given me a personal promise, He will fulfill. The vision of love, the hope of the future, His love is never-ending. His promise will be answered, with one heck of a story in order to get there. I find exhilaration in the thought of how, but frustration at the same time. Surrender, He asks of me. Sacrifice. He sacrificed everything for me. Everything. I should be able to do the same for Him. I should be able to sacrifice this, to obey Him. But I hold on so tightly. I’m scared of what letting go could mean. I honestly don’t even know how I could let go of something so special. Where do I even begin?

Lord, please show me how I could sacrifice something so meaningful and present in my life. I have no clue where to even begin. Help, please!

 

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