Through the highs and lows, there’s a truth that i know

29 Sep

…and it’s You.

The thought came across my mind today, that despite being stronger and more settled in my faith…i miss the girl i was when i first lived and loved the Lord.

Like a lot of baby Christians, I was on fire. I had a passion to spread His love, His mercies, and the power He had in my life to change me. Corey had the young adults group go through a Ray Comfort video series on evangelizing. It was called The Way of the Master. If you haven’t watched it before, you should. It’s really awesome, Kirk Cameron is the co-host person, AND Ray Comfort has an awesome Australian accent.

The video series came with a set of evangelizing tools. My favorite, that i eventually bought online, was a pack of the 1,000,000 bill gospel tracts.

My heart was in the right place at first, but eventually I got prideful. I would be too frightened to talk to anyone in person, so i would go online and try to spread the “love”. Or the pride i had of my faith. I would also choose the mormon chatrooms and try to change them. That was a fail. A big, big, big, big fail. Old men got mad and tried to argue on myspace with me…and i got kicked out a lot of chatrooms. I got nowhere. Absolutely nowhere…that i know oof.

Back to the tracts…

At the time our house was being remodeled after a horrible flood, and my mom would often drag me to Lowe’s, Home Depot, and Wal-Mart for all sorts of things. I got REALLY bored easily, so I would walk around those stores and place the tracts in different places throughout. The shoe-aisle and cd racks were THE best place to drop the tracts…hoping someone would be changed by stumbling upon one of them. I never stuck around to see someone doing so, I usually expected some employee was secretly spying on me, and promptly removed them.

When I realized my pride was what drove me to do these things, I gave all evangelizing up. That was three years ago…

and i miss the passion that first drove me to do those things. The passion that first drove me to buy those 1,000,000 bills. The passion that drove me to evangelize to a guy on the first date (this was before the knowledge of 2 Corinthians 6…and i didn’t go on a second date with him ;))

Why is it so easy to evangelize when we are first walking with him…and slightly terrifying when we are stronger in our walk?

I miss that girls passion…please revive it, Lord.

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