…are you married?

6 Sep

Do you have a boyfriend? Do you want a boyfriend??

Those are the series of questions my awesome mailman, Dwight, asked me as he dropped the mail off at the shoppe on Friday. I’d be a fool to say I don’t get asked that a lot. Usually, it’s by my dad, and following my “No.” is a  “Good!”

When I worked at Starbucks, it was the moms who tried to set me up with their sons. Or Roy (he deserves a blog of his own). One mom even sent her son in the store this past Spring after she heard me talking about my love for baseball. Needless to say, her son was 17, still in high school, and an unbeliever. He did have the courage to call me…even though I ignored his call and later told him I wasn’t ready to date…in a text message… 🙂

Four years ago I learned my lesson of meaningless dating. My heart was broken and a whole new group of boys at church resulted in me being a big, fat, jerk. Emphasis on JERK! I was known as a “serial dater”. Somewhere in the mix, though, the Lord tugged on my heart and I forbade myself to date for three months. Once the 3 months were over, I went back to my old ways and dated yet another guy….but with a different outcome. By that time, I knew how to take notice of the Holy Spirits conviction. The heavy weight on my heart was too much to ignore and thankfully the guy felt the same. I didn’t date for 2.5 more years after that…mainly because I told myself the previous relationship was the “right thing at the wrong time”. But as Joshua Harris titled a chapter in one of his books, “The Right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing” and I ended that spree by realizing how blind i was to the rest of the world. Blind to the blessings of the Lord.

But I wouldn’t change those 2.5 years for ANYTHING…as it was THE most fruitful period of my life at that time.

During that time, I wrote many lists of my “perfect guy”. I even made a collage oh, so long ago. To humble myself by admitting my arrogance, i will show you that collage. See how vain i was?

Oh, golly!

I told myself I wouldn’t date until I felt the Lord’s peace with the relationship. And as much as a broken heart stinks…a heavy heart knowing you are disobeying God is SO SO SO much worse!

My perfect guy could very well be out there. But I was so foolish when i made that collage. Especially knowing that two years later I’d date a guy only 1/4″ taller than I…and it didn’t bother me at all.

I used to think I’d never be able to date a guy without the heavy-hearted feeling, but the Lord definitely proved me wrong. Can’t say I know His reason for the way everything has turned out…but i am determined to look back at my last two years of life in 2011 and be completely thankful and not bitter one bit. I am determined to not let my flesh get the best of me and put those rose-colored glasses on again. I am determined to let Him produce fruit in me and not ignore the gifts He has in store for me.

Right now I am thankful to have a good girl-friends around me who are in similar positions. No boyfriend, no fiance, no husband. I am NOT thankful two of them are moving to Idaho next month (but I DO hope the Lord blesses those girls immensely over there…i’m just gonna miss them…). And lastly, i am thankful for my friend Rachel who shares my frustrations and God-willing, we can get a good group of girls like us together for accountability. That being said, if you know or are a girl in the area who fights to be content with singleness like us, please let me know so we can include you in our study! My HOPES with this group, if the Lord wills, is we will continue a study for a long time. I read a blog or something about a lady who did something similar, and the group continued on while each and every one of those girls had the Lord paint their love story, and got married.
(please note, my intent is not for the same thing to happen. If it does, GREAT! If it doesn’t, I simply hope to have a place of comfort we can all turn to…a group of support as we struggle with contentment.) I guess I will ask for your prayers, I know I can definitely benefit from such a group…thanks for reading 🙂

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