You’re not through with me yet

28 Aug

I have always been a reserved person. My mom always said i was the laid back, go-with-the-flow child. And in school, I was the shy girl…but yet, i was friends with everyone. I was a shy “floater” so to speak.

Today I got the chance to see one of my high school classmates get married. There were MANY folks from my 2006 graduating class there, many of whom I have not seen since graduation day. Being from a small town, I have known many of those same people since kindergarten. And rather than bask in the awkwardness this day could have brought forth, i chose to not let satan get a foothold on my heart, but let the His love shine bright and be the girl/woman He is molding me into.

The last time I saw some of those people…my faith was SO small. The roadblocks were SO big. I was SO much more awkward. I had NO idea the expanse of His great love. I was insecure, unadventurous, and scared. Now folks, does that sound like the girl i am today? I would like to think not!!! (i STILL have my insecurities..and am awkward :P).

The Lord has  blessed me IMMENSELY with a stable and loving crowd of friends…and somewhere along the way three or so years ago, He molded me a lot. A lot, a lot. He put me in a job (at Starbucks) that pushed me FAR out of my comfort zone (uhhh…calling out drinks and initiating conversation!?!? I was frightened!) But through the 3 years I spent there, He gave me a confidence I lacked severely!

He also drowned me in people who genuinely loved me, but even more…loved Him and let them be used by Him. I have learned A LOT from the people around me, old AND young.

I can’t help but feel comforted though by His promises to me. Philippians 1:6 says, “He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ” and how true that is! There’s a shirt I bought at Creation 2009 with a butterfly on it…the butterfly caught my eye first, mostly in part to a Lifehouse song 🙂 But I also really liked what it said…knowing it had to be a Bible verse, i googled it. Sure enough it lead me to Philippians 1:6 (my second favorite verse after James 1:2!) Time and time again the verse pops into my head, and I am reminded that He is still doing a good work in me, even through the droughts and valleys! And even better is He is doing it to give me HOPE!

I stopped giving in easily to negative peer pressure when I was 5, after I lost some toys when a friend convinced me to sneak into a pool…how thankful i am for that. Even though I changed a lot since school, I am thankful I was always a “goody-good”. I am thankful for the person who told me I shouldn’t be at the first high school party i went to, and for all I know it was the Lord telling me that because there was no visible person it could have been. I have never been one to let another persons opinions and actions dictate who I am and what I like or do. I have never been one to try hard to get people to like me, I’d like to think i won them over by my wonderful personality 😉 But even though I was never a BAD girl, I am not the same girl those folks knew from kindergarten to graduation on June 16, 2006. I am a girl who loves her Jesus and finds confidence not in myself, but Him! I CAN do all things through Him! I am hopeful for the woman He will continue to mold. (and hopefully one day that DOES include a loving husband :P)

Today as I was driving out to Howarth Park, a song by Addison Road came on my iPod. And it just so happens to go perfectly with this blog 🙂 (go figure, eh?)

Change in the Making – Addison Road

There’s a better version of me
That I can’t quite see
But things are gonna change
Right now I’m a total mess and
Right now I’m completely incomplete
But things are gonna change
‘Cause You’re not through with me yet

This is redemption’s story
This is change in the making
Every day, You’re chipping away
What I don’t need
This is me under construction
This is my pride being broken
And every day I’m closer to who I’m meant to be
A better version of me

Wish I could live more patiently
Wish I would give a little more of me
Without stopping to think twice
Wish I had faith like a little child
Wish I could walk a single mile
Without tripping on my own feet
But You’re not through with me yet

From the dawn of history
You make new and You redeem
From a broken world to a broken heart
You finish what you start in everything

Like a river rolls into the sea
We’re not who we’re going to be
But things are going to change

September/October 2005

17 years old.

Please note: I still look 17.


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