back to the start…

8 Aug

i don’t quite know why…or really even how, but over the last couple months my passion for the Lord has been fleeting.

To be personal..i have been feeling as though my life has become so incredibly mundane there hasn’t been much to have passion in and to live for. I am thankful the Lord has (for the most part) kept my life fairly stable in the last 10 months, which i DESPERATELY needed then. But not so much anymore.

I’d be lying by booty off if i said i am free of the brokenness a break up instills on a person. I still hurt, I still yearn, I still have my lowly days. But i am definitely not in the stage of pitifulness i was once in. My heart can handle things now that i couldn’t handle last Fall. The Lord delivered me GREATLY…the last 10 months have flown by like crazy…and i am thankful for that.

But somewhere the passion ceased…but i find myself on a new track. Shane gave his sermon today on 2 Corinthians 1:1-11. I’ve read it before, but it wasn’t until i got home today and that i was able to realize how important those verses are in my walk recently. And how the Lord lead me to an unexpected place for comfort…a blog, actually. Of a woman 7 years older than I who was experiencing a deeper yet similar pain thousands miles away in Ohio.

Her name is Kate McDonald ( )…she was once married to one of my most favorite musicians, Shawn McDonald. She is also the older sister of another favorite musician, Bethany Dillon. Through her lengthy and painful wait in knowing God’s answer for her and Shawn, she blogged. A lot. And today as she announced her recent engagement to a childhood friend after a short yet meaningful courtship, i came to realize how much her testimony brought comfort to me in my brokenness. And how much hope she was able to share, too.

There is a spark of hope and excitement in my heart today. This week will only edify that spark all the more as i will spend most of this week with some of my favorite people out in the almost-middle of nowhere for the high school Stilly Campout.

I have experienced in the last 10 months: 2 crashes/fender benders. 6 colds. 9 overdraft fees. my grandma passing away. and one unexpected break up to the most wonderful guy.

But i have shared thousands more wonderful memories with my family, friends, and peers that greatly overpower all those painful moments above. I knew i failed to be thankful for the blessings the Lord has given me for some time now…but i am. Those trying events above have shaped and matured me…and still are doing so. I just need to remember He is doing this to mature me, because He loves me, and to prepare me. He has been faithful in my past, and will be faithful in my future. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. He loves me.


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