Redemption.

27 Jun

I believe the day was July 2, 2006. A Sunday just like today. It was our week to go to Calvary Chapel Lake Stevens (at that point my family was alternating Sundays between CCLS and CCMarysville.) Kelley was teaching from 2 Corinthians. From  the 6th chapter…my  life changed that day. I made a promise with God.

If you have read any of my blogs or notes over the last four or five years, then you’ve probably heard some of my testimony. Today i was once again reminded of God’s redemption and deliverance. How amazing is He?

It is surprising to me how i truly cannot remember the day that my unsaved high school boyfriend and i finally broke up for the last and final time, for I usually am really really good at remembering those dates. What i do remember though is that the final time we went out was not even for a month in length…having been saved in between our relationships, my perspective changed and for the first time i experienced the Spirits conviction..and i eventually became physically sick. Even today, when I have a meatball sub from subway, I am reminded by the power the Holy Spirit had on me. I knew what needed to happen…but my flesh wanted the opposite. I am thankful for the drama and deceit that lead to the end of that relationship…even if my heart had to break again.

It has been almost exactly four years ago since all that had happened.

2 Corinthians 6:14 says that we are to “not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers”. It all finally made sense why i was so convicted. And in the moment after Kelley read that verse in 2006, I made a promise with the Lord to never ever ever date an unbeliever again. How thankful i am to say that I have kept that promise…and just barely. But i also manipulated the promise and became a “serial dater”  and went through Christian boys like candy. And though I unintentionally hurt some innocent souls, it is how I learned how to recognize the Holy Spirit. I wish it didn’t have to be so…but the Lord did some good works from it all. I wouldn’t know His peace if I hadn’t experience His conviction.

This morning when Kelley announced we were reading from 2 Corinthians 6, my heart broke. In a good way. I was looking around the room and realized there are sooo many people who I love in that room. People who I have shared wonderful memories with and hope to have in my life forever. No longer do i feel like an awkward lost stranger as i did 4 years ago..but i feel loved and accepted! The Lord delivered me from loneliness in the last 4 years in ways I never expected. I never expected after graduating to be living with four amazing girls in this house! I never expected to be serving in the Upperroom. I never expected to have weekends full of amazingness. I never expected any of this wonderful life i live. He knew what I needed…and gave me more. He is so amazing!

I may think my heart is broken. I may look in the eyes of the guy i want to marry…full of wonder, pain, and hope. I may manipulate situations like a pro. I may get lost in my thoughts during prayer or teachings. I may have THE hardest time repenting of some sins. I may fight with the Lord to surrender my hopes of the life I want…thinking that my life how it is now is not what i want. But the truth is…is that God’s faithfulness in those pitiful days 4 to 5 years ago has proved to me that He will be faithful forever. truly, FOREVER! God will exceed all my expectations. I can be hurt all i want by what i don’t have…but God is there with open arms showing me His life for me. I may have my life all figured out, but unless it aligns with His will…then it is useless. The guy, the job, the house, etc.

I can ponder day after day after day why He would bless me with His peace for a relationship…only for it to sadly end. Or why it is super hard for me to want to excel in school as well as i did in high school. Or why i had to get into not one but TWO accidents in the last seven months. Or why my dad has to live 1000 miles away. Or why i am not prettier, more charming, less annoying.

But it all is useless. This last week I have been attempting to live my life more on purpose because so much of my time is wasted on useless stuff. Facebook especially. Or just sleeping and being lazy. Or spending my money on useless stuff.

Jesus is so lovely…and I am soo thankful He captured my heart when He did. I am so thankful I have so much love in my life. I am so thankful for those sucky trials i went through…and still am going through. He is my GREAT Deliverer. And there is no turning back.

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One Response to “Redemption.”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. I believe…. « Adventures of a Woman-Child - 2010 November 5

    […] I learned the hard way in June of 2006 why we are to not date unbelievers – Read this blog: Redemption. But after I promised I would not date unbelievers, I went Christian boy happy…and was known […]

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