Square One

27 Feb

I climb up so close on the ladder of a healed heart, but some little thing brings me back to the bottom. A conversation with a dear coworker and a wise lady telling me my smile will bring joy to a man one day makes me yearn for the companionship I once had. The companionship I miss dearly. I don’t know why God is doing this, when people ask why we broke up…all I can say is that God changed his heart, he didn’t want to break up but God didn’t want us dating anymore and he couldn’t ignore that. And for some reason that doesn’t seem good enough.

I don’t know what to do
I don’t know how to feel
I am holding on to this wonder boy because he was one of the greatest companions of my life. We complimented each other very well.
And i don’t know if I should miss him as much as i do.
I don’t know if I should lose the hope we both had even after breaking up.
All i know is God knows my heart, He knows how much I miss him.
There were days when I would cherish the little things when with him just in case this very thing happened, and now…I wish I would have cherished each moment more than I had.
I am humbled by this, it’s not another failure that i’ve become so used to….but I was prideful in the relationship.
I wish God would answer why He did this.

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