a decision has been made.

29 Jan

Now, I love WordPress.
I love how easy to use it is…much more easy to the eye than blogspot.
However, there has been one big, huge, ginormous frustrating thing from making this blog my own and that is the inability to really and freely customize my blog as per me. Slightly frustrating to know there a couple thousand other folks out there who have the same look as me. Oh, and I also don’t like how hard it is to put music on here.

So, I have decided to change things up and actually move this bloggio to blogspot.

My new address is http://womanchild88.blogspot.com/

Not everything is quite as I would want it, but I have completed a majority of the stuff including exporting all the posts from this site🙂

You could expect a new post as early as…tonight🙂

welcome to the new normal.

23 Jan

To say this last week was an odd one would be an understatement.

The last week has been crazy.

Good and bad.

Moments of hope and hopelessness….

The most important and awesomest thing, of course, is that two of my most favorite people got married on Friday.

Having met at the Calvary Chapel Bible College down in Murrieta, CA; and the bride from the valley of Cali, many folks from out of state came in to help them celebrate the next step of their lives.

It takes more than one hand to count the number of awesome people I met this last week. One of them, a girl just 17 days older than me (it’s nice to have someone my age when everyone is younger!), has decided to move up here and will actually be one of three girls I will be living with🙂 Both of us have such similar testimonies, it’s slightly creepy…but awesome. And encouraging. The Lord is good.

You probably also heard on the news about the deep freeze Washington got last week. It started on Saturday and it was snow, snow, snow until Friday. It was unusual in that it lasted and snowed for almost a good week (but did little to compare to the good month long freeze we had in 08!) I personally love driving in the snow. You heard me right, i love it. I love slipping and sliding.

But not when other drivers are on the road. It causes accidents. And when you’re heading down a hill  not knowing if your 4wd is on (because you had a blonde moment) and you pass the top of the hill heading down only to realize there are at least 5 other cars creating a maze of a passageway, you are bound to hit someone. Especially when you freak out and hit your brakes as a last resort.

Thankfully NO one was hurt, my car has a small dent on my door (which i am thankful for, if i didn’t hit that guy, I would have gone down a ravine) and my front bumper is pushed in, but it’s all plastic. With that dent, lucky me, had a dead phone and no camera to take pictures of the damage done to his car. And our stories don’t match up. That should be fun to deal with…

But the Lord knows.

I got the chance to check out another house to move into, and may i say just how perfect it is? Great location, the walls actually have color, it’s cute, and there are multiple bathrooms. And unlike most rentals, the deposit is only 1/3 of the rent. That’s nearly unheard of! Only bummer is that we won’t have quite the “set up” I was hoping for by having a girl’s house five houses down from the guy’s house. But we’re still less than five minutes away. Oh, and no dogs allowed.

And with my busy schedule…I have come to terms that I can no longer be a dog owner😦 Sad day because Posi Traction is pretty much the best dog ever (despite what my sis and bro-in-law think). It’s been a trial finding her a home I trust…but something has to happen by the 1st. I’m praying for a wonderful home for her (and if you want a trained German Shepherd mix or know someone who wants a sweet, beautiful dog – let me know!!!)

I have to say though, with all the hopelessness, my joy was drained to an all-time low. And the older I get, the harder it is to put on my “happy” face. Which I don’t think is necessary, I need to come to terms with how I really feel. Why mask it? I was a jealous, hopeless, drained, exhausted, and FRUSTRATED mess. Still trying to figure out how to battle through all the sin.

And here’s a question for y’all.

When you are in a position of jealousy by being around certain people, do you avoid such times with those people or do you battle through it?

I feel that if I avoid such moments, then I am running from my sin and not battling it.

Anyway, I would love some wisdom on that.

Also, I have a sense that a new chapter is starting. One that I won’t like very much, one that will bring me to more solitude, one that will be tedious, but one that will be fruitful. Hopefully it won’t last all year and be a worse repeat of 2011.

I hate dissing on 2011, but it was such a hard year. It was good in ways…many good things came about. But hard and draining, nonetheless.

Oh, Lord…please let this year be more hopeful.

Katie, Kattie, Kaity, and...Abigail🙂

 

Do It, Girl!

10 Jan

So it’s a new year. 2012.

The last year of the Mayan calendar.

And you know what that means….

😉

…or not so much.

Anyway, this year is going to be a good one. It better be.

It better kick 2011 in the butt. For reals.

🙂

I am one of those people who think creating New Years Resolutions is useless because you can have a resolution any time through out the year.

But at the same time, starting off the year with a fresh start and perspective is nice.

As long as you actually stick with everything.

So, here I am, with some goals…

1. Go on a flippin’ vacation.

When you are single, a vacation is not having to be responsible for anyone but yourself. At least that is what i need. I haven’t been on a legitimate vacation since…well, it’s been a good three years. And I need one. I need to get away, be secluded, spend time with Jesus. I think I’m gonna go to Charleston, SC. I even found a hostel there (I will get a private room, still cheaper than a hotel.)

2. Stick to my budget.

I cannot tell you just how many times I write out my budget…only to not put it to work. That’s gonna change this year.

3. Operation Move Out: Find a house, more roommates, and glorify Jesus through it. Hopefully this house will be in Snohomish, my most favorite little big town🙂

4. Jesus time: I know the same could be said of most of you, too. We all feel called to give Jesus more of our time. And I truly want to put that into action, too. I want to be one of those people who can get up earlier than needed and do a devo while drinking coffee and watching the sun come up. I know i can do it…I just need to do it.

5. Go to more concerts: NEEDTOBREATHE is coming in March with Ben Rector (both artists I’ve really come to enjoy these last couple months!) Sooo excited! Lecrae and Tenth Avenue North (and others) are coming in March, too. And Mat Kearney is coming in February! And I’m sure countless others. I really want to see The Avett Brothers…and of course, Lifehouse.🙂

6. I want to do more things with my friends. We fall into these times (especially in the Fall and Winter) where we just watch movies. I want to go on adventures. Make the most of this year with each other and our youthfulness🙂

7. I know there is one that’s obvious, but I just can’t think of it.🙂

8. But a camera. Just a point and shoot, but a camera nonetheless. That way I don’t have sub-par/low quality cell phone pictures to share🙂

9. Read more books…and FINISH them! With The Hunger Games AND Blue Like Jazz AND The Lucky One all coming to the big screen this year…I want to read (or re-read) more books.

10. Go a week each month DAIRY free! And maybe, even possibly, gluten free. We’ll see. I think I also want my blood tested for all the things I am sensitive to.

So here ya go!

What are YOUR goals for the year???

Now here is an awesome printout I came across from another blog. There are quite a few – and I have an awesome project in mind.

Freedom Comes…

3 Jan

Now, I haven’t really brought up my love for Lifehouse lately. But I assure you, it is still there.🙂 I’ve just learned how to control my love for them. Ha.

I decided that I want to share with you some facts that you probably aren’t aware of.

The first being, that many of their songs are inspired by God🙂

The second, many of their older songs are actually Christian worshipy songs🙂

And I will share with you a hidden gem.

A song that sounds cheesy – at first. But when you reeeallly start to listen to the lyrics, it is real and beautiful.

It’s the song I try to listen to each morning on my way to work. It’s my motivation for the day. The knock on my head to remember that I can’t do this on my own – I. need. Jesus.

And He is all powerful.

I have two vivid memories of this song.

The first memory is during the Spring of 2009 when my love for the band really took off. I listened to this song each morning when I had to wake up at butt crack o’dawn to make coffee. My favorite mornings were the ones when I would work at 7:30 am. That is when the sun would first be peaking up, making its presence known. I would try to time the song just right so that while passing the lake of Lake Stevens, the sunlight peaking over the legit mountains would shine on me as the lyric, “Freedom comes in the morning time, as the sun begins to shine on my face…” was sung in Jason Wade’s lovely voice🙂 It gave me the chills everytime.

The second memory was in Joplin. When on mission trips and retreats, I always include a time of worship in my quiet time. Those times of worship are always some of my favorite, and the ones I spent in Joplin were the best of the best. Each morning we read in Psalms, I would go outside, sit on a giant cement block overlooking the Eastern sky, and watch as the sky would go from midnight blue to the early morning shades of pink and orange. Again, I would time it just right so the first ray of sunshine on my face would happen as Mr. Wade sung, “Freedom comes in the morning time, as the sun begins to shine on my face…”

Here’s a picture from one of those days…

…now if only the darn delivery trucks weren’t in the way…

It was still beautiful. And it was a GREAT way to start each morning, remembering the power Jesus has in this world. He CAN indeed shake the mountains with just a whisper.

My most favorite lyrics in the song, however, is more about finding rest in Him. When working anytime before 9 AM or grueling days in the Missouri or Mexico heat, remembering the ultimate rest comes from Jesus – and only He can lead us there, reminds me to pray for that rest. So each time the lyric,

Lead me to the place where i can go and find rest, cause i’m so tired. And now, let me feel Your breath on my face.

I would sing it as a prayer to Him. And then continue in that reverence throughout the rest of the day, knowing I could not do any of the work without Him.

His rest truly became real to me while in Joplin. Staying up late, getting up early, working in the heat. Because I sought out His rest, I came back from the mission trip feeling rested. Refreshed. If I had done it on my own, I would have been a very cranky person. Trust me.

So, now, as usual…I will give you the lyrics to the song and hopefully a link. This would be a PERFECT song for a morning worship session at the Stilly. Hint, hint…😉

http://grooveshark.com/songWidget.swf

You Can Shake the Mountains

Freedom comes in the morning time
As the sun begins to shine
On my face
And even in the dark i’m not alone
You guide me by the hand
You won’t let go
And i know you’ll carry me when i can’t walk

And you can
Shake the mountains with a whisper
And you, you speak
And i fall at your feet again

You burned the chains off of my feet
That held me to the ground
You let me rise
Don’t ever let me come back down
Or even live a day apart from you
‘Cause you lifted me
Higher than my doubts and fears

And you can
Shake the mountains with a whisper
And you, you speak
And i fall at your feet
And you are so beautiful
And i am so in love with you
You, you lead
And i will follow close behind

Now i’m waiting here for you
And don’t be far away tonight
Lead me to the place where i can go and find rest
‘Cause i’m so tired
And now let me feel your breath on my face

And you can
Shake the mountains with a whisper
And you, you speak
And i fall at your feet
And you are so beautiful
And i am so in love with you
You, you lead
And i will follow close behind

You…(la di di di)
You…(la di di di)

Humbled Again.

29 Dec

I have probably said it on here before, and if not, well, you’ve probably at least heard it before.

If you’re not in a trial right now, you better be prepared for one coming your way soon.

So was…well, is…the case for myself.

I’ve mentioned going through the Psalms while in Joplin, and being my second favorite Psalm, I chose 139 on one of the first days in Missouri. I love how god uses David to illustrate just how much He cares for us, knowing everything there is – and more, about us…even before we were thought of. How amazing that is.

But the part that really sticks out to me is the last section.

Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way.

When I read that in Joplin, I was humbled when I realized how hurtful I had been to my own flesh and blood. And I decided to do something about that.

I read Psalm 139 again a month or so later and I couldn’t think of anything wrong or hurtful in me – I knew this only meant that once again, I’d be humbled soon. I’m not a perfect person.

And here I am. Again.

He revealed to me an area of my life that once again, I failed to bring before Him.

And in all honesty, I don’t know where to go from here. I’m in a rut. In a pickle.

And I know I need to sacrifice something.

I feel like I purposefully make myself busy. And when I’m not busy, I’m suuuper antsy and have an overwhelming need to get out of the house and do something. Often times come Thursday or Friday, I CANNOT wait for Saturday to come along so I could do nothing and sleep in. But that nothing, isn’t actually nothing because at the drop of a hat, I am out the door when a friend comes knocking. Forgetting the lazy day I had imagined in mind. And when the weekend is over, my room and car are still a mess and I feel like I got no rest at all.

(p.s. friends, i am not blaming you. I am blaming myself for not being disciplined.)

It has been a vicious cycle these last couple months…and it’s my fault.

I feel like I have no time for anything.

And leaving for work shortly after sunrise and getting off after sunset does not help. I am so happy it’ll start getting darker later now that the Winter solstice has passed! Hallelujah. Seriously.

I think I make myself busy for a reason, too. I don’t know if you’ve read any of Donald Miller’s books – he wrote Blue Like Jazz and some other really great books. Well, today he posted a blog on his Facebook and I opened it. Only for my jaw to drop when my mind realized why I make myself busy.

It’s because I don’t want to face myself.

I know there are areas in my life that I need to deal with and bring before the Lord.

Actually, I just need to spend more time with Him. I used to do it all the time – wake up late on a Saturday, eat breakfast, get coffee from somewhere, go somewhere special, and spend time with Him in the Word. A great way to kick start my day. Or I used to go on random drives and explore new places…those times were fun!

But you know, that hasn’t really happened in a while. Life is busy…or I don’t want to miss out on something awesome. I hate it when I am with friends and they talk about a memory that I wasn’t at…

I know that it’s okay to not have to be at every event. I know it’s okay to set boundaries. I know it’s okay to say, “no” with the reason being I need me time…or no reason at all. I know it’s okay to be a “lamie jamie”.

But God is calling me to be with Him more. To have more of those times with just me and Him – for more than 30 minutes before bed.

I used to go on crazy drives where Jesus really had to take the wheel. Usually it involved snow or super crazy down pours on unfamiliar stretches of the freeway.

My knuckles would hurt because I was gripping my steering wheel so hard.

But Jesus got me home safely every time.

Maybe it requires me sacrificing sleep. And money. And gas.

But if He calls me to it, He’ll get me through it.

I think I just need to go on a drive….

One Day Left…

24 Dec

The last couple years, I have become more and more Scrooge like.

It’s not that I don’t like Christmas, but rather the pressure it is to be busy all of December long with family festivities – and with 75% of my family living a thousand miles away, I feel inadequate to have none of those traditions. Also, having parents split up makes it hard, too. In order to be with one parent, I have to not be with the other. And with my dad, too, living a thousand miles away – he is usually the one to go without seeing…😦

So many of my friends whine about having to go to yet another family thing…why do they not realize how blessed they are? If I could afford a plane ticket to be with my family during Christmastime – I would be there in a heart beat. One of my most favorite Christmas’ to date is still the one of 2003 when my dad flew us down and we got to spend a good couple days with my grandma, dad, aunts, uncles, cousins, and other family friends.

I have learned to not take those times with family for granted.

…..

Tonight I was with some friends watching…Friends, and as I am sure almost everyone does, I was picturing my friends and I as the six characters so many of us have grown to love.

I’m always Rachel, of course😉

Anyway, it occurred to me that so often those six friends got together and had their own traditions. Especially Thanksgivings (which are alwaaaaaays my favorite episodes!) And I realized that while I am whining about not having my extended family around to be with during this time, I am still blessed and need to be thankful for what I do have.

So, Merry Christmas from (some) of the Regs!!!!!!!!

Tomorrow will be full of shopping.

ALL.MY.SHOPPING.

Because face it, I am a procrastinator. A big one.

And of course, I cannot forget to remember the REAL reason I celebrate Christmas.

As Relient K states,

“I celebrate the day, that You were born to die, that I may one day pray for You to save my life.”

And even if He was really born in April or whenever, I will still choose to celebrate this day. And I will do so with the utmost childlike faith by singing “Happy Birthday” to Him with my church family❤

Useless Competition.

21 Dec

Most anyone who knows me – or has played a game with me, knows that I am very competitive.

Unless I know it’s something I suck at and I am playing with judgmental, no-fun players who criticize and think their way is the way for everyone. Sorry, it’s not.😛

And then, sometimes…

…I cheat

And it’s all in good humor.

And I know that cheating is strictly used to win a harmless, fun game.

🙂

But there’s some competition that isn’t necessary.

I don’t know if guys are aware of this, but girls are just as competitive among one another as they are.

Maybe, even possibly, more so.

And they play dirty. They manipulate.

They manipulate guys hardcore to get what they want.

In ways that can destroy, ruin, and end friendships.

Girls like the attention.

They like getting attention from men.

They like it when guys single them out of a crowd to show them attention.

And this, my friends, is where I often find myself slipping away from who I am. I slip away from the contentment Jesus brings – and become a bitter, jealous, depressed, hopeless mess. And it’s all because I let my heart wander. I let jealousy sink in and fester, and I let discontentment rule. I become an insecure disaster who just…wants to give up trying.

And this time around, it has hit me hard. It’s caused me to have little empathy. It’s caused me to not enjoy life. It’s caused me to find those I love, annoying and attention starved.

satan found a foothold and ran with it.

And do you know what? I let him.

How pathetic.

I know it’s wrong thinking. It’s all lies.

I believed the lies satan fed me. That I’m not worthy of attention. That I suck at everything. That’s i’m an awkward mess who doesn’t deserve the best – because all those other perfect personality girls around me deserve them before I ever do.

And do you know what started all this?

It’s because I realized that once again, my heart was hoping too much for something hypothetical, people around me fed that desire with talk and jokes, and I knew that if I let my heart focus too much on it all – my relationship with Jesus would be made second, not first.. Because, after all, I’ve done it many times.

It all started because I wanted to protect my friendships and my relationship with Christ.

What started as something good-hearted, ended with me running into a trap satan placed for me along the way to tear me away from Christ’s plan for me. And I fell for it.

Thankfully, Christ has given me a stronger conviction after years of learning the same lesson over and over. I know it’s wrong thinking. I know it’s not His plan for me to be hopeless and depressed. His plan for me – and my prayer over the last couple days, is to have His peace beyond understanding. To rediscover that joy I traded for sorrow.

It’s also to remember the promise Christ made me while in Joplin

“Draw close to Me and I will do the rest.”

It’s simple, He has it all in His hands. Being manipulative and competitive won’t bring me into His perfect will for me. But allowing His pursuit to win my heart over daily, will.

I have been in a weird sort of funk this last month and am learning to escape from the awkwardness I have created.

Please pray for me as I continue to learn…and have grace for me, as well.

🙂